Kevin Pyne, of Lake Street, Dartmouth, writes:

Claude Byrd’s letter about the whereabouts of the local seagulls and their disappearance after the recent ­reggata air displays, Chronicle, October 9, I felt needed ­answering in, of course, a light-hearted way:

No need to worry about

The harbour’s seagulls

For while the noisy air shows

Might well have sent

Them flapping on their way

They are only up in

The Midlands

Scavenging on the rubbish

Tips and having their holidays.

So rest assured that they

Will be back at Christmas

When the bins fill up again

Fighting, pooing and causing

Campylobacter and salmonella

And pinching pasties and sarnies

From unsuspecting visitors 

Whilst being a low-flying 

Perfect aeronautical pain.

And while we are all of us

God’s creatures

And no one truly wishes to

Bring about their demise

Come next May they will

Be having very noisy sex

Up on our rooftops, then

Building their nests on high.

Or perhaps we could put

Superglue on the roofs of

The visiting lines of coaches

Then sling up a couple of

Torn-up loaves of bread

So as when they go the gulls

Get stuck and go with them

So to give us a bit of peace

And an extra hour or two in bed.