Di Riley, of South Milton, writes: Dear holiday makers... I'm writing this here little ditty To remind folk that this ain't a city There's really no need to travel at speed Through our village so quiet and so pretty.

I know you're all here on a jolly I know you'll be spending your lolly But please be aware (just pretend that you care) That speeding just makes you a wally. Drive too fast and you'll miss all the features The beauty and countryside creatures It may be old news, but take time for the views There's no need to rush; you'll still reach us

Your holiday choice is quite seasonal The money you spend is amenable But we'll still be here, when you've shifted your gear So be thankful, polite and be reasonable

'Manners cost nothing' my mum said When bringing me up on the farmstead So (not being funny) forget all your money And practise your smiling instead.

When you're driving on lanes with a red face Cos you're following tractors at snail pace Just remember, my dears, they've been here for years And will stay when you've rejoined the rat race.

These vehicles you loathe with a passion May not be the latest in fashion And the farmers you label? They put food on YOUR table So show some respect and compassion.

This one time of year gets us cursing; Drivers lacking the skills in reversing My advice to you all? Give the instructor a call And get them to help in rehearsing.

Your cars have a gear (here's a big clue) To help you go back when you need to So reverse to a space, yes, you may lose some face But we know the road better than you do.

We don't need to be scathed or talked down to We're not something you scrape off your deck shoe So please, all we ask, is get your head out your ar**s And learn some respect as you should do.

And before all you folk make a big rush To moan that you're tarred with the same brush I know most are nice, but take my advice There are some who just need to be crushed.

I'm home-grown; proud roots in the country Not bothered at how you may see me Life here may be slow, but go with the flow And we'll get along better, believe me.

Love from a country maid x